23 Mar 09
Today at this very moment I feel so bad.
Three days ago I was so happy as I have connected with my brother. He left home for 2 years and during those two year never go home and just called once during the big earthquake.
I made my mind to call him brother since I was a colleague student. Far away from home and the first time realize how import the warm and solidarity of the family is. I cannt say I am the pearl of my family but I did seldom let my parents worry about me.
We are a combined family father is his father mom is my mom. Even I didn’t admit it before but I know the family affects my brother a lot in his life. He always lies to us seldom communicate with us. Father lashed him even he has already 20 years old.
The day before yesterday he call me again. Superfacially we talk so happy but I can feel there will be something unhappy happen between us as he has mentioned to me lent 500 RMB to him as he needs a mobile phone for the work’s sake. I didn’t refuse him and I also don’t know how to do. I thought I dare not refuse him. I just afraid if I refuse him this time he will never connect with me and not call back home any more. But he has worked outside for 4 years. Those 4 years never bought any thing for parents let alone give them some money. I don’t care whether he will do all of that or not but I do care why you work for so many years and now even cannt buy yourself cell phone.
I dare not tell mom as mom is not his Mother so mom will not treat him like me. And father still no as I don’t want him feel sorrow.
The time is 14:59 and he call me at 14:08 I told him I need to think about it and call me back 20mins will be better. He didn’t call back. I am not sure whether he will or not later.
He said: Sister I really in jam and I cannt find other for help. I know we have a agreement if I still have no enough money after one month you will buy me one. And I am so sorry if you really don’t have extra money I will not blame you .We are still siblings.
So now what I should do.
I am a newly coming in this society working in a China wholesale from China. Major in English but do a job have not much relationship to the major. After half years work I know how important diligent and effort is.
15:17 he call me .I though he will not call me since it has already one hour.
I said: Brother would you please wait till I get the salary this month. It will be 7th next month.
He sign saying ok nothing, I will try other ways and without say good bye handing down the phone …
I am wrong again? I really don’t know!
